It has begun!
The new job, that is. Remember? I mentioned it back a couple of weeks ago? A few posts? Ah fuck it, yeah, I know you don't read this tripe. But I write it anyway. You know why? Because I'm batshit insane!!
*ahem* Sorry.
So far the new job goes well. I actually have to turn the wheels inside as I'm the new guy and really don't have a clue. Three days in and nothing has caught on fire. My coworkers are great fun and extremely helpful and also have demented senses of humour. Know how I know. Apparently we're getting a remote controlled tarantula to serve the dual function of serving as our mascot and delivering post-it notes back and forth. How sweet is that?! Early favorites for name bestowed upon the little critter include Steve and Thursday.
My boss scares me a little, however.
Training was a frightful and harrowing experience. She would loom over me, oozing scorn. Carefully watching each keystroke and mouse movement I made. The moment something I did failed to meet her, quite frankly, Goddess like standards, she would bludgeon me with a stool screaming "Nein! You vill do eet zis vay or I vill conteenuu to puuneesh you." Admittedly, the beatings sort of had an oddly soothing aspect to them. I had to admire her dedication and precision in finding the most painful spots imaginable to strike. You just don't see torturers take that kind of pride in their work anymore.
I joke, of course. There were no savage beatings or fucked up German accents.
There were muffins! I think I like these people. I think they tolerate me. Which is really more than I could have hoped for.
Please don't fire me.
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