Baby Eating 101

Hopefully that title scared off the more skittish among you.

As for the rest of you, I hope you brought a change of clothing!

For those of you curious, the previous post was not a mistake or some such. 'Twas deliberate on a couple of different fronts. The more obvious of which, me being a cheeky asshole. But you knew that already. The other being the fact that I had nothing I particularly wanted to say to any of you. Certainly there were some goings on. However, I didn't feel particularly compelled to speak on those matters. Simply something you're going to have to learn to accept. Or not. Truth is, I don't give a fuck.

But I'm back! YAY!

Been giving a lot of thought to this thing called life in all it's complicated and demented splendor. What I want. Where I want to be. When. Why. How. Whom with. Oh the joys. And then the thought of a perfect day crossed my mind. Something occurred then that brought a smile to my face. I realized that my perfect day is easily achieved. Well, not so easily as say.....switching on a light. But not so difficult as......surviving the zombie apocalypse. The fact remains though, that there is much to do between now and then. Many adventures to have. And that's the point, isn't it? To embrace this life of ours. To enjoy it. Admittedly, none of us have any concrete idea of what death is. If I had to give an answer, I'd say we're fucking worm food eventually. But the fact remains that we don't know. This life could be the stepping stone on to something far grander than we could ever imagine. Many of us believe it is. Personally.......worm food. Which makes every moment of this blip of an existence matter to me. So, my advice? Even when doing seemingly nothing, do something. 

Wow......

I wasn't expecting my mind to vomit that all over the page.

Anyway.

Halloween is on the horizon. It, for the most part, being a huge crock. For me and mine, it's a delightful excuse to make fools of ourselves and drink together. In all honesty, it really doesn't separate it from any other day.......details. Been thinking that this year I need to wrangle a couple of my Hobbit size friends up and get them to dress as ghosts or some equally obscuring disguise. Then parade them around as my children and get free candy. Though I don't think that anyone in their right mind would believe for a moment that I was entrusted with the care of anything more delicate and needy than a rock. And considering I entitled this very entry about the consumption of infants.....I can't really blame them.

For those of you not in the know. I don't actually eat babies. Or young children. Or people in general. Having said that, I do occasionally get the urge to bludgeon folk with shovels.....

Especially them that refuse to give me candy this coming Halloween.